What to Send When a Friend Has a Baby (and When to Send It)

The news usually lands in a group chat: a photo, a name, a weight in pounds and ounces. Everyone replies with hearts, and then most people do one of two things. They order something straight away, or they mean to and forget.

Both are understandable, and there's a better middle ground. A baby gift does the most good when it arrives at the right moment, in the right size, with something in it for the parents as well.

When to send it

The first few days are the busiest. If the birth went smoothly, the hospital stay is often short, and anything sent there has to be carried home along with the car seat, the bags and the baby. Gifts that arrive in the first week also tend to land on the same doorstep at the same time as everyone else's.

A week or two after they're home is usually better. The visitors have thinned out, the first wave of gifts has been opened, and a box at the door is a nice surprise rather than one more thing to deal with. If you'd like it to arrive on a particular day, check with a partner or grandparent that someone will be in.

And if you missed the moment entirely, send it anyway. A gift at six weeks, when the novelty has worn off and the tiredness hasn't, is often the one people remember.

What gets used, and what doesn't

Ask anyone a few months into parenthood and they'll tell you the same thing. The things that earn their place are the plain ones: soft cotton bodysuits, washcloths, a muslin swaddle that doubles as a burp cloth and a sunshade, a gentle wash for bath time. You go through more of all of them than you'd ever guess.

The things that don't get much use are the ones bought for how they look. Tiny shoes, outfits with lots of buttons, anything that needs hand washing. They're lovely in the box and then live in a drawer.

Size matters more than you'd think

This is where a lot of baby gifts go wrong. Newborn clothes fit for a few weeks at most, and many babies skip the size altogether. By the time your gift is opened, a newborn bodysuit may already be snug.

If you're sending in the first couple of weeks, 3 months is a safe choice. If you're sending later, go up again. Parents never mind a size they'll grow into, but clothes the baby never got to wear are a shame, and it happens a lot.

Our two baby boxes

We put together the Welcome Little Prince Baby Gift Box and the Welcome Little Princess Baby Gift Box around the things that get used. Each has a 3-pack of Carter's cotton bodysuits, a muslin swaddle blanket, a 6-pack of Carter's washcloths, three pairs of socks and Aveeno Baby Wash & Shampoo, packed in an ivory gift box with a card.

Both come in four sizes: Newborn (up to 9 lb), 3 months (8 to 12.5 lb), 6 months (12.5 to 17 lb) and 9 months (17 to 21 lb). The weight ranges are the useful part. If you know roughly what the baby weighed at birth, pick the size they'll be in by the time the box arrives, not the one they were in on day one.

The boxes come in blue or pink. If the parents are keeping things neutral, or you'd rather not guess, send us a note through our custom basket request and ask for white and grey instead. We'll confirm the price before anything is charged.

We deliver across Mississauga and the GTA ourselves, and both boxes can be shipped with tracking anywhere else in Ontario.

Don't forget the parents

Everyone sends something for the baby. Far fewer think about the people looking after it, who haven't slept properly in two weeks. A bag of good coffee, some tea, or snacks that can be eaten with one hand at three in the morning will be appreciated more than you might expect.

You can add that to a baby box through a custom request, or send it on its own. The Sweet & Savoury Snack Hatbox is good for this: everything in it can be opened and eaten without a plate.

What to write

Keep the card short, and don't ask for anything back. A card that says "send pics!" or "let us know when we can visit" is one more message to reply to. Something like:

• "Congratulations. No need to reply to this, or to anything, for a while."
• "For the baby, and something for you two at the bottom. Welcome to the world, little one."
• "We're so happy for you. Thinking of you on the night feeds."

For more ideas, our guide to what to write in a gift message has a section on new babies.

And if it's been longer than you meant, don't let that stop you. Late baby gifts are still very welcome.