What to write in a gift message

The gift is chosen, the address is entered, and then there is a small empty box asking what you would like the card to say. This is where most people stall, and then write something they are vaguely embarrassed by, because the pressure of the blank box makes everyone sound like a greeting card.

It helps to remember that the card is meant to be short. You are not writing a letter. Three lines, sometimes four, and you are done.

The structure that works for anything

Almost every good gift message does the same three things in the same order:

1. Name the moment. One short line about why today is today.
2. Say something only you would say. One specific detail: something they did, something you noticed, something between the two of you.
3. Sign off warmly. Short. Your name.

The second line does the work. Lines one and three are scaffolding, and everybody manages those. Whether a card gets kept or recycled comes down to one question: could line two have been written by anyone else, about anyone else?

Compare:

Happy birthday! Hope you have a wonderful day. Love, Sarah

Happy birthday. Thirty-one feels like a good year to finally take that trip you keep describing to me. Go. Love, Sarah

Same length. Entirely different card.

Four mistakes worth avoiding

Mentioning what it cost, or apologising for it

"Just a little something" and "sorry it's not more" both do the same damage: they tell the recipient to evaluate the gift rather than enjoy it. If you feel the urge, it is usually a sign you should say something warmer instead, not something smaller. (Prices are never included with a Velvéa gift, so the recipient has no way of knowing unless you tell them.)

Making it about you

"I've been so busy but I wanted to send something" is a message about your schedule. The card is one of the few places where the other person should be the entire subject.

Writing to the occasion instead of the person

Generic warmth reads as effort that stopped early. One specific detail will beat three general sentiments.

Overreaching on tone

A card that is much warmer than the relationship is uncomfortable to receive. Match where you stand with someone. A friendly client does not need "with love", and a close friend does not need "best regards".

Examples by occasion

Birthday

• "Happy birthday. You've had a year, and you handled it better than most people would have. Here's to a gentler one."
• "Another year of you being the person everyone calls first. Happy birthday."
• "Happy birthday. Eat the whole box yourself, I won't tell anyone."

See birthday baskets.

Thank you

Name the specific thing. A thank-you that does not say what it is for is a formality.

• "Thank you for Tuesday. You dropped everything and I noticed."
• "You've been unreasonably generous with your time this year. This is a very small correction in the other direction."

See thank-you baskets.

Anniversary

• "Twelve years. I'd do the whole thing again, including the parts we got wrong."
• "Happy anniversary to the two of you. Still the couple everyone quietly uses as the standard."

See anniversary baskets.

Sympathy

This is the card people most want to get right and most fear getting wrong. The rules are simpler than the fear suggests.

Use the person's name if you knew them. Acknowledge the loss plainly, and offer something specific if you mean it. What to leave out: any explanation of the loss, any silver lining, and "let me know if you need anything", which puts the work of asking onto the person least able to do it.

• "I'm so sorry about your mother. I keep thinking about how she used to greet everyone at the door. Thinking of you all week."
• "There's nothing useful to say. I'm here, and I'll check in on Sunday."

Short is fine. Short is often better.

New baby

• "Congratulations, all three of you. Sleep when you can and let people feed you."
• "Welcome to the world, Nora. Your parents are going to be very good at this."

A note on new-parent gifts generally: the ones that land best are for the parents. Everyone sends things for the baby.

Get well

Keep it light unless the situation is serious, and do not ask for a status update: a card that requires a reply is a task.

• "Get well soon. The group chat is unbearable without you."
• "No need to write back. Just rest, and eat the chocolate."

See get-well baskets.

Congratulations, a new job, a promotion

• "Congratulations. They have no idea how lucky they got."
• "You worked for this for three years. Enjoy the part where it finally happened."

See congratulations and new job.

Retirement

• "Forty years. Whatever you do on Monday morning, make sure it's nothing."
• "Congratulations on the retirement. The place won't be the same, and everyone knows it."

See retirement baskets.

Housewarming

• "Congratulations on the new place. May the boxes be unpacked by spring."
• "Happy housewarming. Something for the first morning in the new kitchen."

See housewarming baskets.

Just because

The easiest card of all, since there is no occasion to live up to.

• "No reason. I was thinking about you."
• "Saw this and thought of you immediately, which felt like reason enough."

See just because and thinking of you.

Business and client messages

The failure mode for corporate cards is sounding like marketing. A gift that arrives with a sales message attached stops being a gift.

Sign with a person's name, not just the company: "From everyone at Northfield" is warmer than "Northfield Inc." Mention the year or the work rather than the account. And never include a call to action. No links, no "looking forward to discussing Q1".

• "Thank you for a really good year of working together. From everyone at Northfield."
• "We know this year asked a lot of your team. Thank you for including us in it."
• "Congratulations on the opening. Delighted to have had a small part in it."

For volume orders we can print one message across a whole run or a different message for each recipient. See the corporate gifting guide.

A few practical notes

Every Velvéa gift includes a printed message card at no charge, and you can add your message on the product page or at checkout. Prices are never included, so the recipient sees the gift, not the invoice. If the occasion calls for more than a tucked-in card, a full-size greeting card is available for a small flat fee.

One last thing, obvious and still the most common mistake on bilingual orders: write the message in the language they speak.

If you are still choosing the gift itself, start with all gift baskets.