Get well gifts: what to send someone after surgery, in hospital or at home sick

A get well gift has one job: to make a bad stretch slightly easier. It is not a birthday present and it is not a sympathy gift, though people reach for the same baskets for all three. Someone recovering from a knee replacement, someone three days into a hospital stay and someone in month four of treatment need very different things, and the gift that is right for one can be a nuisance for another.

So before choosing anything, answer two questions. Where is the person, and how long will this last?

If they are in hospital

Hospital stays in Ontario are shorter than people expect. Many surgeries send patients home the same day or the next, and even a serious admission is often under a week. A gift sent to the hospital has a good chance of arriving after they have left, or of being carried home by a tired relative along with the bags.

Hospitals also restrict more than you would think. Fresh flowers are banned on many wards, particularly intensive care, oncology and anywhere with immune-compromised patients. Latex balloons are banned almost everywhere. Some units will not allow outside food at all, and patients on a restricted diet or waiting for a procedure may not be allowed to eat what you send. Rules differ by hospital and by floor, so if you must send something there, phone the unit first.

The better plan, nearly always, is to send to the house. Either time it for the day they get home, or send it to the family member who is doing the hospital runs. They are sleeping badly and eating from vending machines, and a box of good coffee and something to eat with one hand is more help to the patient than anything that lands on the bedside table.

After surgery: the first two weeks at home

This is the easiest case and the one most get well gifts are built for. The person is home, bored, in some pain and not allowed to do much. The things that work are the things that fill an afternoon without effort.

Snacks they can reach without getting up, tea and coffee that someone else can make, chocolate, biscuits, a magazine, a puzzle book, a very soft blanket. If they live alone, think about the kitchen: anything that can be eaten straight from the box is worth more than anything that needs a pan. Our get well baskets lean this way on purpose.

Two cautions. Some people cannot eat much after surgery, especially anything rich, in the first few days, so a basket of heavy treats can sit untouched; send it for the second week rather than the first, when appetite is back and the visitors have stopped. And check for the obvious conflicts: nuts in the house of someone with an allergy, caffeine for someone told to avoid it, sugar for a diabetic. A basket that lists its contents makes this a thirty-second check.

During chemotherapy or a long illness

A long illness changes the rules. The person is not recovering so much as enduring, and the gift should respect that.

Scent is the first thing to think about. Chemotherapy often makes smells unbearable, so candles, perfumed bath products and strongly flavoured foods can go straight into a cupboard. Fresh flowers and fresh fruit can be a problem for someone whose immune system is suppressed; ask before sending either. Many people lose their taste for sweet things and want something salty or plain instead: crackers, pretzels, nuts, ginger tea, mild biscuits.

Small and regular beats large and once. A person in month four of treatment has stopped getting cards, and a modest parcel every few weeks says more than a big one at diagnosis did. Our thinking-of-you baskets are the right size for this. Unscented comfort, plain food and a short note that asks for nothing.

Someone at home with the flu, or just worn out

Not every get well gift is for something serious. A friend with a bad cold, a colleague off for a week with their back, a sister who has had a rotten month and finally caught something. Here the gift is permission to stop. Tea, honey, soup if you can arrange it, something to eat on the couch, a card that says "do nothing". Our coffee and tea baskets and the smaller spa and wellness boxes fit this well. Keep the spend modest; a large gift for a small illness is faintly embarrassing to receive.

Flowers: sometimes, with conditions

Flowers are a fine get well gift for someone at home, well enough to enjoy them, with somebody around to put them in water. They are a poor gift for a hospital, for anyone with a suppressed immune system, and for anyone living alone who cannot easily deal with a vase. Our bouquets are delivered locally only and need two days' notice, so they suit a planned "welcome home" better than a same-day gesture.

When to send it

The instinct is to send immediately, and for a short illness that is right. For surgery or a long stay, wait. The first days are crowded with visitors, phone calls and casseroles, and a gift arriving then is one more thing to find a place for. Day seven to day fourteen is the gap: the attention has moved on, the person is still stuck at home, and the gift is noticed.

Across most of Mississauga and the GTA we deliver the same day when you order by noon, and the next day otherwise, so you can pick the day rather than guess. The details are on the delivery page. For someone further afield, the baskets marked as shippable travel by tracked courier across Canada; anything fresh stays local.

What to write on the card

Keep it light and specific, and do not ask for an update.

• "Something for the couch. Feet up, phone off, we've got the rest."
• "Heard about the knee. The new one had better be an improvement. Thinking of you."
• "For the person doing the hospital runs: coffee, and something to eat that isn't from a machine."
• For a colleague: "The office is quieter without you, and not in a good way. Take your time."

Avoid "get well soon" if the illness is long; it reads as a deadline. "Thinking of you" is better, and "no need to reply" is always kind. There is more on wording in what to write in a gift message.

If it is from the team

Workplaces send more get well gifts than anyone, and the gift that arrives from "everyone at the office" is usually the one that lands best, as long as it comes with real names. Send it to the house, never the ward, and make sure the card does not mention work or when they are expected back. For a longer absence, one gift at the start and a second a month in is worth more than a large one at either point. Our guide to corporate gift hampers covers the practical side.

Start with our get well gift baskets, or browse all gift baskets if you already know what they would like.