Birthday Gifts for Someone Who Says They Don't Want Anything

Most of us have one person like this. A couple of weeks before their birthday they say it, sometimes more than once: "Please don't get me anything." A few of them mean it. Most mean something narrower than that, and once you work out what, choosing a gift gets a lot easier.

What they usually mean

Often it's about stuff. Their cupboards are full and they're tired of finding room for things they never asked for. That person isn't against gifts, only against clutter.

Sometimes it's about money. Parents say it a lot, and so do friends who like to keep things even. They don't want you spending on them, or to feel they owe you the same back.

Some people just buy what they want, when they want it. There's nothing on their wish list because they never needed one. A gift for them has to be something they wouldn't think to pick up for themselves.

And some dislike the moment more than the present: unwrapping it while everyone watches, finding the right thing to say. The gift isn't the problem. The audience is.

None of these is really "I'd be upset to get something." It's closer to "please don't make it a burden," and that's something you can work with.

Why food is the safe bet

A basket of good chocolate, snacks or tea gets around most of this. Once it's eaten, it's gone. Nobody expects to see it on a shelf the next time they visit. It's easy to share, too, which suits the person who would rather put it out for the whole table than have the day be about them.

Where it goes wrong is when it looks like a few things grabbed at the checkout. What makes it feel like a gift is a handful of things they actually like, put together with some care, and a card that shows you were thinking of them in particular.

Picking a basket that fits

If they hate clutter

Keep it all edible. Our Sweet & Savoury Snack Hatbox has chocolate-covered pretzels, Laura Secord fudge, caramel popcorn and a sweet chili nut mix, so it works for a sweet tooth and for the person who always ends up next to the chip bowl. The only thing left at the end is the ivory hatbox, which is handy for storage.

If they don't want you spending much

Go smaller and brighter instead of bigger. The Cocoa & Clementine Gift Basket is a few well-loved chocolate bars, including Kinder Bueno, Reese's, Lindt and a Biscoff Dairy Milk, with fresh orange gerberas tucked in. It looks cheerful rather than extravagant, and for this person that's what you want.

If they already have everything

Think about the small luxuries people leave out when they shop for themselves. Not many of us buy the nice hand cream or a good candle on a normal grocery run. The Blush & Indulgence Gift Hamper pairs Japanese Cherry Blossom hand cream and a matching candle with rose hibiscus tea, Lindt LINDOR truffles and a few snacks. It does include a nut mix, so if nuts are an issue, ask us to swap it before you order.

If it's a big birthday

A 50th or a 70th is the one time you can politely ignore "don't get me anything." The Birthday Bliss Gourmet Gift Hamper is the fuller option: Lindt chocolates, fudge, popcorn, cashews and a birthday card, packed in a reusable silver gift box. Everything in it still gets eaten, so you're bending their rule rather than breaking it.

Buying for someone easier to please? Our birthday gift basket ideas go through friends, parents, partners and colleagues.

If you already know what they'd like

Sometimes you know exactly what would make them happy: the coffee they always buy, a particular brand of crackers, a tea they mentioned once and never got round to buying. Send us the list through our custom basket request and we'll find the items and arrange them the way we do our own baskets. A request can be as simple as this:

Dark roast ground coffee, a box of shortbread, a bar of dark chocolate and some fresh flowers. She's diabetic, so nothing too sweet, please. Around $100.

We'll reply with a price, and nothing is charged until you approve it. If one of our baskets is nearly right, use the "Change or ask about this basket" link on its page and tell us what to swap.

Spend a minute on the card

When someone has asked you not to bother, what you write carries more weight than usual. "Happy birthday, enjoy!" is fine, but a line that could only be about them is better. A few to borrow or adapt:

• "I know, you said nothing. This was as close to nothing as I could manage."
• "For the one who always brings the snacks. Your turn."
• "I listened when you said no fuss. This is the quiet version."

Every Velvéa basket comes with your message printed on a card at no extra cost. Prices are never included with the gift, which helps with the person who would otherwise go looking to see what you spent. For more on getting the wording right, see our guide to what to write in a gift message.

Let it turn up on its own

For this kind of person, a basket that simply arrives at the door often goes down better than one handed over at the party with everyone watching. We deliver across Mississauga and the GTA ourselves, including same-day on eligible orders, and ship with tracking to the rest of Ontario. Your delivery options show at checkout once you enter the postal code.

They'll probably still tell you that you shouldn't have. Usually, that means you got it right.